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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

NaiSaiKu 2

curtain-call

a clap of thunder
brings the rain
CURTAIN CALL
brings the rain
a clap of thunder


© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved
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15 COMMENTS:

Saras said...

Very nice Naisaiku! Reads well, Nalini.

Anonymous said...

wwwooowww...
i wonder im gonna try my hands at haiku and naisaiku..
the whole syllable funda gives me creeps :(

awesome one there nalini... and here's an award for you..
:)
http://megzone.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/whiff-of-glory/

Rajlakshmi said...

Thats a nice one. Award 4 u at my blog. :)

Andy Sewina said...

Hi Nalini, Nicely done!

Wendy Naisa said...

Hiya, Thanks for taking the NaiSaiKu challenge?

I like the way you associated the curtain call clapping with the thunder outside, cleverly done!

Chandni (Chanz) said...

wow... I havent even started with Haiku, and I am already hearing abt NaiSaiku...

SandyCarlson said...

So well done. We want more!

Stan Ski said...

It works well, but I think if you leave out the first and last line it works a little better. Either way it stays within NaiSaiKu guidelines.

Nalini Hebbar said...

Reads better now?...thanks for the suggestion Stan

The Analyst said...

new to Naisaiku, I am not good with poetry though, your poetry blog is amusing to read

Rajesh said...

Beautiful composition.

BROKEN STAR (bck agn) said...

just awesome.....grtttttt

Tarun Mitra said...

wow....thats very goood

robkistner said...

Enjoyed this, thank you for sharing…
…rob
Image & Verse

Tumblewords: said...

Clever imagery! I like it...