Am I this?

‘He who has a ‘why’ to live for can bear with almost any ‘how’
                                                                                    - Friedrich Nietzsche

So before we ask why it is important to ask how. Value systems and social ethics prescribe the accepted method. But what if those don’t satisfy your individual quest?  What if at some stage in life, the monotony of it all just renders you incapable of enjoying life beyond an avatar of biological needs and social role player? Chronic meaninglessness, apathy, and aimlessness and an acute awareness of the superficiality of life plague many a lives to a point of no return.

What defines a human being? What is it that makes us unique in this world of over a zillion creatures? I think we are unique because we ask questions. And the biggest and the toughest question we have ever asked is ‘Why have I been born?’ The saddest element of any search is that we forget to enjoy the journey, concentrating hard only on the destination.

We search for the meaning in life and during this search, evolves a story unique to each individual. As life unfolds before us, we discover aspects of ourselves we never thought existed. It is this wonder, about an amazing individual that resides within you, that is the real meaning of life.

‘Am I this?’ takes a look at the different ways in which we look at ourselves in wonder.

• ·         Firstly, a body that physically feels and responds to stimuli from the environment - a ‘living’ thing in the true sense of the word.
• ·         Then, a thinking conscience that reacts to the offered stimuli in unusual ways. So different from individual to individual that you wonder is the stimulus offered in the first place was really the same!
• ·         Thirdly, a wonderfully evolved mechanism that works in a magically complex way - the human body and brain – the wonder machine!
• ·         And lastly, the insignificance of human life. The human body is just a item in the pathway of energy in the universe.

I am just a minute fragment floating in a gigantic system far, far beyond my comprehension. I should let my universe shrink to a few meters around me. This would give me a better perspective of what life expects from me and what I should expect from life. Continued ripples of change rip and reshape the complex universe that surrounds me, in much the same way as it does the larger universe.


Evolving in this system of a zillion changes is this little life of mine. I am a complex molecule getting more complex by the day. And older and wiser too! What do I have to offer to this universe in flux? Well, nothing much. Just a little more changes, maybe! And a promise to keep the fires of quest burning and the arrows of questions flying in all possible directions !

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I! Am I this body

that feels the heat and cold?

that in indignity hackles raise?

that in triumph or defeat sheepishly grins?

I! Am I this dream

that showcased my might?

that took away the bashfulness?

that lets me speak out my true mind?

I! Am I this magic

that makes my body work?

that in impulse and reflex reacts unprompted?

that deduces answers to hundreds of questions I pose?

I! Am I this unknown entity

that is just an insignificant particle?

that is but a living vessel of transient energy?

that transcends the universe to the space beyond?

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© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009-all rights reserved

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The God of Silly Things

“If we say that God has always been, why not save a step and conclude that the universe has always been?” (Carl Sagan, Cosmos, [New York:  Random House, Inc., 1980], p. 257).

Is God for real or is it a fabrication of a mind overawed by and grappling with the unexplainable magic of the universe?

The topic, for all I care, can be dropped like a hot potato into the sea of hot questions that plague us as we search for the meaning of life. What bothers me is what we are doing in God's name, a creation- of a tool, of a caring figured- designed to help people live a peaceful life cocooned in its warmth, safe as a baby, shielded from the unfathomable mystical vagaries of nature and life. If not shielded, at least unjust happenings are justified with, "Everything happens for a purpose!" "What God takes away, he provides in another way."

But what are we doing in the name of God?

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Imagine the time when all these things

The newspaper, the TV and the blogs,

Not around to spread hottest information

Delivered in the instant of its creation.

We do know of gossip mongering,

For how many times do we end up saying,

“That’s not what I heard, that’s not true!”

“I never did that, how’re you so sure?” 


Why are fewer heroes made now days?

Of types that graced Earth of those days?

Like Rama, Ravana, Arjuna, Pandavas

Like Hercules, Atlas, Ulysses, the Titans?

A great man is one above most men,

Attributes not found in folks common,

Making him seem larger than human,

Possessing an aura of the unknown

Word of mouth was the order of the day,

Changed and added-on from faint hearsay

With nodding heads and wagging tongues,

A short man Tom Thumb and a big, Hercules

This is how through stories Man made God,

Far from the original when told and retold,

With miracles, heals, powers, strengths, flights,

Walks on water, time travel & transmutations.

Blown beyond proportion but lovely stories,

To learn morals, to dream as pictures,

To read, and read to others, heard and enjoyed,

Not to think they are Gods to be idolized!

Stats say we are digging deeper trenches

Between regions and between religions

Continents drift as these volcanoes erupt

For small lapses we wait, defenses upped.

In small closed spaces dissent is louder

Flashing swords to words of dishonor,

In God’s name we justifiably butcher,

Another God’s children ours slaughter.

Did we make God for human good?

Will goodness be sacrificed for God’s sake?

Will we be wiped out in a fight over God?

Or will God terminate us for fighting silly?

Outcome disquieting for this big a creation 

For selfishness plagues a selfless intention.

God just a façade for money and control.

Sillier we get, smarter God’s men stroll.

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© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009-all rights reserved

Explore My PhotoBlog http://triggerhappyhunter.blogspot.com

Just Criticism

This poem was written in response to an onslaught on a poetry site. There is nothing JUST about criticism. Justice is a very very relative term. Your judgement will reflect your race and kind, and is groomed by little bits of conversation right from day-one of your life.

• Can you belong if you are not like-minded? 
• Does 'wanting to belong' feed your bias? 
• Does a strong belief/bias benefit you as you move upwards in a particular community? 
• And does belonging give you a stronger voice? 

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There is never a ‘just’ person

Because a mind is a product of bias.

Cemented again and again by

His history, culture and environs

His mind molded by his parents

And theirs by theirs

By the conversations at dinner tables,

You know - the small talk

About black and white

About big and small

About power of love and of hate

About theirs and ours.

His bias gives him his identity

His prejudice make him belong.

It defines his relationships

With people and his life.

It is not easy for a man

To rise above his beliefs

To ‘look’ at the other side.

Accept another?

– That’s next to impossible!

For then he loses his identity

Of belonging to a belief.

It may start a war of thoughts

That will uproot the belief

And he then stops belonging

To the belief that was ‘he’.

Like there is no ‘just’ person

There is no ‘just’ critic

His beliefs colour his criticism

And his life and his writings.

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© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009-all rights reserved

Explore My PhotoBlog http://triggerhappyhunter.blogspot.com

Did We Cause Change?

The Earth is getting warmer and climatic changes are on for all to see. It's raining and snowing where it never has, and, cold freezing places have seen temperatures soaring to 40 degrees Celsius. But the questions I ask are

1. is the human race responsible for this change? 
2. Are we big enough to effect such changes? 
3. Is it our ego that makes us believe that we can bring about such a change?

Let us look at the ice age and the dinosaurs. Did the growing population of there gigantic animals that ruled the land, sea and sky cause climatic changes that brought on the ice age? The reason for the ice age can be better attributed to 

• an  impact of a giant asteroid
• high radiations from a supernova
• an epidemic
• a volcano that created a layer of dust that blocked sunlight for years
• a change in the shape of Earth's orbit...making it hotter or colder
• a change in the tilt of Earth's axis...heating or melting the poles
• a wobble of the Earth about its axis...changing the time and duration of a season

These reasons apply as much now as they did back then for climatic changes that seem to want to wipe out human/dinosaur presence on Earth.

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Oh! Passing sojourner on Earth’s largess

The Earth warmer now than ever before,

And damned are the gases spilt forth.

Two centuries have passed since a driven wheel

Ploughed the dirt to form scopionic paths,

Lunges forward now on unplumed wings.

Are we the reason for the Warming Earth?

Or are we too small to shape a Universe in flux?

Are two centauries ample to affect a change?

Change is nucleus to the space we float in

Too removed from our sphere of influence,

Do dinosaurs lay a claim to the Ice age?

No control we wield over nature’s umbrage.

We pump our egos thinking ‘WE’ create change

Megalomania, I think we need be accused of.

We are too small to reign in the monster 

Let things go on as planned destinies.

Climate has changed and so has life.

Time now worshiped in vain life altars

Brio dreams zip in tired half-shut eyes and

Adrenaline pushes our thick clogged vessels.

Now bonds valued as the stocked bull runs

Love now devoid of devoir bonding as

Lost souls spill into sidewalks and alleys.

Find your universe in the embrace of arms

This sphere you can control and inspire

Choose to illumine or in a dark world live.

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© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009-all rights reserved

Explore My PhotoBlog http://triggerhappyhunter.blogspot.com

Your Mind Can Take You There

Energy never dies, only transforms.
Are we able to perceive energy around us other than what we have within us? Most people don’t, but those how do can discover entire new worlds, realities and parallel universes! The ancient sages up there in the Himalayas have achieved it with the help of heightened consciousness that connects one with ones natural psychic power to transcend time and space, explore the past, access the future, and view remote events or places in the present. That’s mind travel for you. Possible? Maybe. I wouldn’t know but it seems to be a wonderful relaxation tool when boredom brings your life to grinding halt.
Come, sit, fasten your seat-belt and read with me. Slip into my poem and travel my mind’s journey.

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Out here in the big city

Through the litwindows I see

People busy about their homes

Finishing up for the day.

People busy living lives

Monotonously sore

Caught too in this snare

Mine no better than theirs.

My heart flies off

To far distant lands

To the deepest blue oceans

Where no one ever wanders.

Picture myself in a valley

The Valley of Flowers

Lie down among the purple

And look up at puffyclouds.

Spreading beauty and perfumes

Dazzling with intense colours

Flowers have short lives

And mine so painfully long.

Then I am on the ocean

Rocked gently by the swell

Above the orangeskies open

Till the stars begin to parade.

I feel the depth and vastness

Silvermoonlight’s silky caress

Whales and plankton under me

I too swim wild and free.

I leave for the snowy mountains

Its chillness holds me close

Smell of pine trees and freshness

I fill up with warm happiness.

Sound of tweeting birds

Butterflies flirting by

Dwarfed by the mountains

In unison with nature, I merge.

Jolted back to the city

I let my head hit the pillow

Got to catch some shut-eye

Or else be lost tomorrow.

Morning rush is maddening

Breakfast on the table

Got to hustle to the office

Before the boss gets there.

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© Nalini Hebbar/saycheese/2009-all rights reserved

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Stop to Live a Little

There is so much life has to offer but do we have the time to stop and live a little? Little things that can give us great joy...simple things like blowing bubbles to watch your child play with them. Nature and closeness to her is healing like nothing else. Do we have the time? Stop to live a little! Click

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Time flees on motored wheels

And I flirt on trivia surfeit

Wheels fitted firm underfoot

Breezily whizzing through time

Out of breath, out of my depth

No time to stop to live a little.

Will there be time another time

To behold clouds fold unfold

And offer the blue or darken up

To lay awake under open skies

And catch a wishfilled falling star

Will there be time another time?

Will there be time another time

To watch weaver ants sew the leaf

Or the tailor bird start from scratch

To sit with feet in a shallow stream

And let fingerlings nip my toes

Will there be time another time?

Will there be time another time

To hide behind a sheer rain curtain

And eavesdrop on songs of frogs

To coax the koel to coo and tut

And chortle in joy as others join

Will there be time another time?

The Pandora box spilt wide open

Lament the regret that falls out alien

Life not meant to be lived swindled

Break out, cut loose, fettered soul!

Nature beckons you sweet and true

Into her welcome arms amorous run.

© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved

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The Slippery World of Fate

Life is quite like walking on a slippery floor. You try to hold on to something to stop you ending up face down on the floor. You grab opportunities you find along the way and take them quite quickly, before they disappear from your sight. You stop the falling but have you made a good choice? You will find out only when you reach the end. Would we like what we see, what we chose, how we lived?

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Every single moment

of those waking moments,

And moments spent in dreamland,

Dreaming for better or for worse,

Bombarded are we every moment

with choices a zillion,

Zipping past nonchalant

As if they make not a difference.

Every single choice

whines an urgent note,

Demanding speedy decisions,

in splits of a second.

Miss and none remain 

for snappy decision to be made,

Rather like an eel slippery

just slips into the past.

Of zillion choices offered,

only a few hundred stick,

Decided in split seconds

while the choice still hot,

Years have to go by

To hear the verdict of fate,

You did good! Or

You ruined your life!

Those made you ‘you’ today,

'You' moulded by those choices

and those instant decisions.

Bombarded by reflective moments

of satisfaction, bliss

of regret, remorse.

On and on we travel

on a journey called life,

Slipping and failing,

choosing and rejoicing.

Like a finger on a button

that chooses an answer,

We chart our future path,

hitting a few buttons right

of a zillion choices floating

out there for the taking.

© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved

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Man

Man, as in the male variety of  the Homo Sapiens, has to take blame for most of the atrocities man has perpetrated against the Earth and her children. At a later date, women, the female variety of Homo Sapiens, too joined the party and are now equally to be blamed.
Are we intelligent? Just claiming so doesn't make it true. Which of our deeds on earth have been Earth-Friendly, Life-Friendly? The only thing we do with exceptional acumen is - KILL and DESTROY!

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Claim if you may,

that man is supreme,

that no being created

as unique as he,

To what use is intellect

if employed to stem,

mind and nature

woman and the poor?

Claim if you may

that man rules the world,

but what’s to a king

whose subjects rueful.

To what use is intellect

if used to maim

innocent children

and onlookers passive?

Claim if you may

that we own the world,

inherited by war

on man and beast.

To what use is intellect

if her you violate,

the very mother

that gave all of us life?

Claim! Claim! Claim!

Assert and demand!

The more you say it,

believable it gets!

For who would want

the Universe to know,

we have been digging,

centuries of graves.

© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved

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No Half Measures

Life is full of choices and compromises. It is, however, very important to accept that you can't walk alone always. There are moments when you need to hold hands with the people you love and who love you. The rest of the time is yours to live fully. The definition of a full life? There are as many as there are stars in the sky!

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Life had a dream for us

but has she her promise kept?

Her path strewn with thorns

and she has failed us so.

I’d rather die than live a life

of efforts of half measure,

But is it for us to pick and choose

a life of lucid dreams?

Another life, another time

that’s the promise given,

but how can I trust and comply

when this too precious to set free?

Walk along with me,

stay close and hold my hand,

Let us wander among the star

our paths littered with stardust.

But on earth this life must live

till we have enough in time,

Measures of joy and sorrow

our cups burst forth to spill.

Stay and smile, grin and bear

stay close and hold my hand

Our promise is for good

for only in death do we part.

Friends-Do read the post and keep the discussion going

My Fight against Gender Stereotypes

© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved

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