Silent Spectator

I wrote this poem the day I heard we had a deal we just couldn't ignore, for our first property that we had put our heart and soul into building. Just the thought of someone else living in the house, which knew us so intimately, was unsettling. These walls have see it all, lived with us steadfast, through think and thin, through joy and sorrow. They were a part of the family, in fact not even the children knew as much as they did.

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These walls reach out to remind me

Of the good times and the bad.

They have heard the laughter,

The triumphant hoots, the envious chuckles.

These walls have seen the tears

Of the sense of loss and the joy of gain.

They have gasped and cheered

When the bubbly champagne

Splashed across their shiny faces.

A little sauce, a little cream

A little of that spicy hot curry

The party times, the home comings

The welcome guests with joyous kids.

They have cringed in pain

When in anger, saucepans flew

To mar and maim deep inside.

The putty and the wall paint

Will never erase those scars

The memories of deafening silence

That hurt more than the inflicted wound.

They have heard the soft whispers

Of thoughts, unsaid, suppressed

Purblinded by the stampede of emotions

Trampled by the surging egos.

A clean slate awaits me

A new house with new walls

Memories folded and packed

Ready, exited and expectant.

Soon someone else will stare at it

Lost in thoughts of joy or sorrow.

It will be theirs to amuse or abuse

A mute spectator of the game called life.

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Too Hot - Haiku 142

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red rose sheds

petal by petal-

too hot to handle

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Lotus - Haiku 141

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hot afternoon-

dragonfly rests

in shadow of lotus

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Moringa - Haiku 140

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beyond the moringa tree-

the koel coo-oos

with the temple drums

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Envy - Haiku 139

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crescent moon

cradles a star-

mars turns green

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Huddle - Haiku 138

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silent mountain-

clouds gather

in a huddle

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Whirlwind - Haiku 137

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whirlwind in a corner-

punished

for yesterday’s mischief

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Ruffling - Haiku 136

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wind moans at the window-

he’s quite used to

ruffling my hair

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Walking Along the Beach

I was born in a coastal town of Kerala, then had a 5 year stay in Goa. Now I live 20 km from the coast and deal with the marine shrimp for my bread and butter. The beach is my favourite place and the sound of the waves is music to my ears. There were many a nights after Goa that I couldn't sleep for want of the sound of the howling wind through the cracks of my bedroom window. It slowly got replaced with the sound of the traffic!

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The sea is tranquil as it washes gently,

Over the sands with a caress whisper,

The clouds play shadow casting shyly,

The sun dawns with an orange hamper.

The shore-crab peep out to dart and hide,

Claws held high like advancing soldier,

Into deep holes with a waterbed inside,

Stalked eyes out like periscopes peer.

The catamarans are pulled up safely tied,

Lanterns warm after the night out at sea,

The fish and shrimp in purse seine netted,

Air alive with smell of the morning tea.

The fisherwomen in gaudy prints bright,

With baskets perched daintily balanced,

Hips sway their walk like pendulum light,

Fresh catch to sell as the market opened.

I walk as the breeze in my hair flurries,

The jetty piles are my hunting ground,

Fresh green mussels hang in berries,

Their patina sheen has me spellbound.

I love the way they open very subtle,

Like lips parted in moments of passion,

Letting seawater wash over the mantle,

I sway with the music of the ocean

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Silk Corn - Haiku 135

Silk corn, dried and powdered, is a great diuretic and can be had as green tea. Boil water and add a tablespoon full of the powder. Let it brew and drink it up with a spoon of honey.

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silk corn

today Barbie’s hair-

tomorrow green tea 

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Today Unplugged

 Happiness and the search for it can leave you baffled. It is not a commodity that can be bought, nor is it something permanent. It is but a state of mind so flimsy and ephemeral that it needs to be handled with care. 'Today'...that's were happiness dwells...and it takes very little to live in 'today' without a thought of tomorrow or yesterday. Do everything you do 'today' as if there is no tomorrow! 

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An issue often to mind revisits

So nebulous and uncertain.

Always stirring deepest beliefs

Leaving me baffled in its wake.

Happiness comes from liberation,

Unattached to any form of possession,

Power, status, name and money,

Person, praise, comfort and property?

It seems an easy thing to apply,

Since I already all things enjoy,

And in my custody they will stay,

Going no place in a flurry.

Is it not human nature to protect,

All in the world that I possess?

Will I know liberation only if I lost

All in the world that I possess?

So stirred up was I, so stirred up,

Till like bulb it suddenly lit up,

Do all you have to do on this planet

But exist only for this very instant!

Like there is no tomorrow coming

Today! Take care of all your possessions.

Live every wakeful moment loving

Today! Enjoy the fruits of your labours.

When into future you do not look

Today! A pleasant time to be in.

This simple truth has me so shook

Today! A time to smile and be happy in.

Unattached to possession

Today! Liberated from attachment.

Not worrying for a better tomorrow

Today! Living in blissful contentment.

Love, give, catch a tear or two

Smile and the world smiles for you.

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Keyhole - Haiku 134

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keyhole limpet

in the rock pool-

my life’s no different

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Bugs - Haiku 133

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2012 with seat bugs-

I bit my nails

the bugs me

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Fish - Haiku 131

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shrill fight over

basket of fish-

a fish lifts a fin

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The Sea Beckons

This, in a nutshell, is my understanding of the world around me.

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In this land of the ancient culture

Deciphered in epics, life’s meaning

Served to us on a golden platter

Our way of life and spiritual thinking

Dharma, Karma, Moksha, Punarjanma,

All words that we live on unexplored

Living out a destiny that is predefined

In us is tolerance and acceptance ingrained

Present is the Infinite, in the finite

A force that charts our life course

Unconsciously conscious of the infinite

From life till death we live our lives

Destiny is out there, inevitable

The finite of life just stepping-stones

Flowing as we live down the set paths

Towards an ultimate sea that beckons.

For the few who will question, seeking

Looking above obeisance, ritual and custom

Searching for one’s life meaning

The answer, the light will clearly dawn.

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Dentures - Haiku 130

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dentures on the bed

walking stick on the floor-

spring in her today

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The Decision

Life has so much to offer. Like high tide that follows every low tide, joy and sorrow always chase each other around in our life. Not everyone has the inner strength to live through problems looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Some don't see the light at all.  To be able to overcome those weak moments of sorrow with help from loved ones and friends can prevent suicides. My poem is about a girl who found courage from within.


Everything viewed, experienced, rationalized, thought, read, believed, discounted, and debased, as well as all the people met and subsequently loved or hated since childhood, affects people individually.  In respect to such unique occurrences, reality is not a general or universal thing and no two people share the exact same reality. Everything, similarly, is inputted through the five senses, which are, themselves, subjective, creating a highly complex, almost ambiguous meaning of “reality,” even for the individual who is experiencing it.  A person’s self-view, as well as their perceptions of how others view them, has a key role in determining the relevancy or importance of the world and life in general.  Humans exist as themselves, inside themselves, as conscious “minds” and are inherently individualistic. Source

 Humans also exist in groups, ever learning and changing due to exterior events and other people. They also are made up, biologically, of neurotransmitters and complex hormonal systems which affect moods and responses. All these factors entwine inside people to create the intricacy of human life. While it is possible one of these things is more powerful than another in each individual, it is highly unlikely that solely one is responsible for a decision as deterministic as suicide. The causes of suicide are as complex and varied as humanity itself. As long as suicide is considered a taboo subject, the deeply integrated causes may never be fully realized. Source

A million people commit suicide and about 10 million to 20 million people  attempt suicide annually. Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death in males and the 16th leading cause of death in females. Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere) "to kill oneself" is the deliberate self-destruction of a living being. Crisis in individual or family life resulting from financial factors or from the investments of the hear,t can lead to suicide because of a feeling of extreme helplessness over the inability to control the situation. 87-98% suicides have been attributed to mental illness- mood disorders, substance abuse, schizophrenia and personality disorders.

Some of the Warning Signs include:

• Change in eating and sleeping habits 
• Withdrawl from friends, and family and regular activities 
• Violent actions, rebellious behavior, and running away 
• Drug or alcohol abuse 
• Unusual neglect of personal appearance 
• Marked personality change 
• Persistant boredom, difficulty in concentrating, or a decline in the quality of work 
• Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often relating to emotions, such as stomach aches, headaches, fatigue, etc... 
• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities 
• Not tolerating praise or rewards.

A teen contemplating suicide may also

• Complain of being "rotten inside" 
• Give verbal hints with statements such as: "I won't be a problem for you much longer" "nothing matters" "it's no use" or "I won't see you again"
• Put his or her affairs in order--for example, give away personal possesions, clean his or her room, throw away important belongings etc... 
• Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression - Source

The steep cliff rose above the seas

Jutting rocks sharp and cruel.

Birds in nests perched in the nooks

Safe from the stiff wind that blows.

Deafening sound of waves and birds

Rose high to the platform set on the top.

A girl stood there clutching the rails

Her fingers pale and her eyes vacant.

The wind blew her hair out behind her

Her skirt flapped briskly around her legs.

She leaned over to take a long look

At the jagged rocks and the sea below.

Stood lost in thought for quite a while.

Silent and rigid in the noise and wind

She seems to sway pulled by the force.

She lifted her face to the wind that played

Her arms rose heavenwards as she stood.

Tears streamed down her lovely face

Dried up fast by the blowing wind.

Then her mouth suddenly smiled

And laughter pealed above the sounds

Of the birds, the sea and the wind

Her body sung with the distant sea

Her body softened and mellowed.

There was a spring in her steps

As she walked back to her car

That would now take her back

To live in peace with joy and sorrow.

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