Change of Status

Today's women have created a niche for themselves in the work places of  business world; and have proved time and again, to possess the ability to shape their own lives, to create a world of their own dreams balancing  family and career with great aplomb. The fall of the joint family and rise of the nuclear one has led to the breakdown of the traditional role women used to play in society. She has begun to speak her mind with regards to her rights; and has demanded a role of an equal partner in the business of family management alongside her husband.

India has a complex social set up where ancient traditional religion-sanctioned practices have given men powers that are almost unsurmountable. Indian women have accomplished a lot but have yet to find a foot hold to work towards overhauling the male dominated society. She may have to find a way to incorporate some of the traditional diktats into her modern role requirements.


In an interview “Changing the male mindset is a key aspect to women’s liberation. Men also need to be ‘liberated’ from the shackles of patriarchy,” acknowledges Harish Sadani. To do this, he founded Men Against Violence and Abuse (MAVA) in 1993, one of only a handful of organisations in India that are trying to change men’s patriarchal, chauvinistic and often violent attitudes. He says, "Patriarchy, apart from disadvantaging women, brings with it a set of behavioural norms and responsibilities that hinders men from expressing their fears, problems and vulnerabilities.Men often become violent, aggressive and uncaring due to patriarchal modes of socialisation. Images of masculinity are linked with being strong and violent and to notions that men with ‘power’ are ‘real men’. ‘Opening up’ in men is much more difficult and complex than with women. Men often do not have any experience, confidence, or even vocabulary to describe their innermost feelings related to sexuality and other related issues  It takes guts to renounce obvious patriarchal privileges and step down from a dominant position in order to win moral self-respect. Men are seen as part of the problem, but unless they are seen as part of the solution and the process of transformation no significant change in the status of women will occur. Changing the male mindset is key to women’s liberation. Men too need to be ‘liberated’ from the shackles of patriarchy. It calls for a paradigm shift in viewing the ‘women’s issue’ as a ‘gender issue’ (equally, a ‘men’s issue’) by all concerned." Source


Evidence is, the urban Indian male hasn’t really changed. He is cocooned as he has always been in a sort of prolonged infantilism – a hatchery protected by doting mothers, fathers, sisters, girlfriends, and society itself. As Mukul Kesavan, author of the The Ugliness Of The Indian Male And Other Propositions says, “The Indian male’s bullet-proof unselfconsciousness comes from a sense of entitlement that’s hard-wired into every male child in an Indian household.” Source


The Indian woman has miles to go before she sleeps, before she earns the right to eat before her husband does and also sleep before her husband does if she is tired. Mindsets need to change, of men, women, and of the society. Religious and political forces will work against the change; but we bloggers have a moral obligation to keep this topic alive, and be the instrument of change.


The Indian Man
Why Indian Men Are Still Boys

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Set control to 100, Volume to 1,

Blur to max when not in use,

Honorary member of Follow the Leader,

Trained to obey an inflexible ‘heel’.

Hand, fingers, feet and toes,

Always on alert to fetch, feed or flush,

Orders to be fulfilled while the dot is hot,

No tips ever paid or ‘keep the change’.

Lock, undo, delete or backspace,

Hack into the mind, heart and soul,

Erase dreammode with any button,

Till all bytes are free for reprogramming.

Her title typed in a big bold font,

Acknowledgment only in-between lines,

Muted in invisible scrawny print,

Wooed by man is woo-man. 

Sulk and fight fierce for the status quo,

Or you could learn to gently fly with me.

Change’s here whether you like it or not,

Time has washed away chains and fear,

Sniff the air that blows from out there,

A silent revolt lines every fair breath.

Hold hands and do trust our intend,

For fairness shines through years of hurt,

No shadow of vengeance or monopoly,

Since the future of Earth and her children,

Rests on the shoulders of compromise.

Isn’t it time, to break free and fly,

To fair lands kinder, to the better-half?

Where we do promise to impartially share,

A platform and altar of equal footing,

Come hold hands and gently fly with me.

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