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Monday, April 26, 2010

Key To My Evolution

I started off as a misunderstood child, unable to read and write, unable to follow instructions and unable to stop grinning even while being scolded. My parents gave up on me but I know they wouldn't have, if they had heard about dyslexia.
What I never lost, during all my struggling years, was the attitude...so positive, that all the negatives aimed at me, changed me in a positive way. I learnt that it was not I who brought these reactions in them. It was their prejudice and their shortcomings that did not allow them to reach out and embrace. I learnt to forgive but luckily did not learn to forget.
I embraced change. I imbibed the new. I grew from within. And strangely those lessons that I was unable to put on paper during exams, those concepts that were taught in class and in life, stayed with me. I understood them differently...in an applied way...taught by me to myself!
So change is the essence of my life...an open mind, open to new thought. And I will not, I repeat, will not remain what I am today, tomorrow. I promise... Yes, I promise this to myself.

 


As I read my old poems yesterday,
'Is it possible for a person to change?
A metamorphosis of self in change?
Transformed matured grown altered?'
These questions as I read emerged,
As I scanned oldnew poems yesterday.



The process I admire and respect, for
In the Universe change is the essence,
A process, a mystery so remarkable,
A process, omnipresent, incredible,
But as it unfold inside me I see,
Its strength and beauty, I perceive.

I see a mind expanding, opening,
To a word, a theme, a question,
Tentacles in my mind feeling,
Reaching, touching, in unison,
With my heart learning, exploring,
Every minuscule vibe of emotion.

New tissue, new pathways formed,
I think new dendrites and synapses,
New veins, arteries, capillaries paved,
An ‘I’ all new renewed that makes,
To feel and think in modes altered,
Or in hidden, now surfacing ways.

As I search for the reason for change,
That I see unfolding deep within me,
Is it I? This crazy newfound being?
With pen as weapon powerful to wield?
No! No! This change in me for all to see,
I know the real reason for this change!

What holds the key to this change I see,
In the poems my heart and soul writes?
Helping me willingly as I changembrace,
In my attitude, in emotion, in my expression?
The key for change it holds in its possession,
Is strangely 'appreciation'! Simple words!!


© Nalini Hebbar/openmind/2009 - all rights reserved
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12 COMMENTS:

- The Virgin Author! said...

Super! Someone said it right, "You cannot ignore the changes which take place in you. Changes are constant, whether they are around you, or inside you!"

We have to move on with the changes. Our evolution is also a constant process - no matter how old are we! :)

Hemanth Potluri said...

loved the way u expressed ur feeling...keep writing ..and evolution in life is the only thing which we cannot stop...other things its always in our hand :)..

urs..hemu..

Journomuse said...

Wow...bravo..must have been really difficult so many years ago to make peace with who you are and what others think of you. You are a super woman..and I'm glad the blogosphere gave me a chance to meet you...:)

SHRI RAM AYYANGAR said...

Where there is will there is a way and you have done it...and in a BIG WAY,Hurray!

Lazy Pineapple said...

Wow..Nalini...to have come so far takes so much of dedication and hard work.

Change is ever present and how we adapt to it makes us what we are...

I loved your poem. I also read some of my old posts and realize the change in me...

bollywoodstylediaries said...

u have to be kidding me!! u had dyslexia and now u write such beautiful poems!!u are a role model..

Nalini Hebbar said...

Thank you all for the WOW's...Well life is still a struggle for me regarding spellings...I have improved but my computer's 'sweet sweet red error underlining' is to me what a Labrador is to the blind!

hitesh rawat said...

let me add another wow to this......[b]WOW[\b]....

well as they say "if you haven't been ther,then you can't feel it the same way"

Dyslexia is not easy to overcome....especially when no one understands one....that hurts .....

beautifully woven again into words.....i love you talent to express your feeling.....in a especial way.......i usually admire people who can express themselves......but you are above them......you are better than them.......

\,,/

PRAVIN NAIR said...

Hi nalini,

that was a very moving post..

When one overcomes individual barriers, the world bows down to them..Truly, you might nt have wanted to conquer the world but through ur own perseverance u overcame dyslexia...

Commitment to change is such a tough thing..but once a person gets into the process, a lot of other tough things fall in place...

Nice,personally moving, reminded me of my own very small challenges n trials by fire..Keep writing beautifully!

Nalini Hebbar said...

Thanks Hitesh and Pravin...I am no superwoman...just an ordinary everyday woman who along with all other struggles a woman is asked of, has just one more to conquer.
and I have not overcome dyslexia...that will stay with me for life...what I have achieved is knowledge, self taught, on how to circumvent it.
BTW I still can't spell DYSLEXIA...the spell check does it for me....LOL

Lalit S Chowdhary said...

Without spell check we will all be dyslexic! You have way with the words that is what counts.

Rajendra Raikwar said...

good one